It's the most wonderful time of the year...

The worst (for now) is over. The greater force above us has reached down to me and saved me from the grey cloud of creative block and I'm back on track. IT'S OVER! With that being said I'm setting out to create my very first freelance collection. No more small time 'tops' or 'shorts'. It's time for all or nothing. The 'big guns' if you will.

In the past, projects have been basic and non daring. It's time to be scared and create something that really is something. I need to be afraid, I need to face failure.

Bronze satin shorts featured in the Autumn collection.

Autumn is by far - to my personal taste and preference - the most superior season. The weathered leaves ranging from a golden brown to a deep red shade raining down against a midnight blue sky. Bonfires and fireworks, chestnuts, boots with fluffy scarves and knitted jumpers. The glamour of Autumn puts me in my element. And who doesn't like cosy nights in with creamy hot chocolate and slipper socks? My first collection will be all of this and some just in time for Winter. You say late, I say just in time.

This way, the glamour of Autumn will linger around a festive Christmas aura.

Watch this space. 

'I can do that!'

'You design and make clothes? GREAT! Could you recreate 5 bridesmaids dresses by August?'

'SURE!'

The kind of opportunity I've been waiting for. So why am I so scared? Maybe I don't believe in my potential? Maybe there's no way I can have it done in time and continue to work 3 jobs? Or maybe it's because it's real. 

My client (hell yeah, my client!) wants me to design AND make some new dresses to sit on top of the dresses she has. She loves the colour but the bridesmaids are not keen on the fit. Enter Kacie!

Very first and rough ideas.

Studying law, medicine or even teaching at university is justifiable. Fashion is an art (In my opinion) it can't be taught. Yes, there is a math and set of technical skills to be learned in terms of pattern cutting, marketing, technical drawing and so on. But £9000+ for that? No thank you. I want to make it alone and I will make it alone.

Of tasteless 'quotes', I'm not a fan but here's one that grabbed me, Happy Tuesday:

'You must decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.'

Running on fumes.

''Even dust, when accumulated, turns into a mountain.''

27 hour days aren't fun. I wanted to let you know just in case you were planning on making a colossal mistake in the near future. It goes without saying, some sleep is better than no sleep. I've always been more of a functional person when under the influence of sleep deprivation, but on this occasion I may have just shot myself in the foot. with six 7:00am starts and stupid o'clock finishes coming up, I could have done with taking all the sleep I could when I had the chance.

Anyhow, It's all about powering through. I know that once I've made it in the world of fashion I will look back on these hard times and the days of struggling and miss it. Knowing it was the best time and the most fun. it's all about the journey and not the destination, after all.

Meanwhile, in those rare spare hours I've been working a lot on a dirty pink chiffon shirt with a beaded design of a symmetrical pattern I drew up of a dead cherry blossom tree. Oh the labour! and of course I chose the smallest beads in existence. Put just a bite too much on my plate AGAIN perhaps?

They're the size of poppy seeds.

400 beads down, roughly 98 lost to the floor, approximately 10,000 to go...

I will be at this for days.

I will be grouchy. 

I will want to give in with some tears.

I will have fingers covered in pin pricks.

I will loose sleep.

But I will finish it and I won't stop until that is the case.

Think not? Watch this space.