It's the most wonderful time of the year...

The worst (for now) is over. The greater force above us has reached down to me and saved me from the grey cloud of creative block and I'm back on track. IT'S OVER! With that being said I'm setting out to create my very first freelance collection. No more small time 'tops' or 'shorts'. It's time for all or nothing. The 'big guns' if you will.

In the past, projects have been basic and non daring. It's time to be scared and create something that really is something. I need to be afraid, I need to face failure.

Bronze satin shorts featured in the Autumn collection.

Autumn is by far - to my personal taste and preference - the most superior season. The weathered leaves ranging from a golden brown to a deep red shade raining down against a midnight blue sky. Bonfires and fireworks, chestnuts, boots with fluffy scarves and knitted jumpers. The glamour of Autumn puts me in my element. And who doesn't like cosy nights in with creamy hot chocolate and slipper socks? My first collection will be all of this and some just in time for Winter. You say late, I say just in time.

This way, the glamour of Autumn will linger around a festive Christmas aura.

Watch this space. 

Red bull and The Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Saturday May 10th, 2014 02:39am.

Hello, my name is Kacie and I'm a sleep deprivation addict.

Well, not entirely. I love sleep. As a child there was no need to nag me of my bed time as I would already voluntarily be in bed sound asleep. Sleep is one of the greatest and yet least noticed pleasures in life. Recently, however, I have been coming more to terms with my fathers passing (May he rest in peace) and have become even more AWARE of how life can be snatched from you at any moment. 80 years is a long time in terms of how we are able to comprehend time but in the grand scheme of the universe is not a long time.

I dreamt of being a fashion designer years ago. At 4 I was dressing my self in the morning, from shoes to hats and from bags to dresses. At 8 I was designing my own range of bridal wear. At 12 I was looking for an appropriate university and holding regular fashion shows for my parents and younger siblings that my reluctant sisters would take part in. At 14 I was applying for college (in advance of course) By 17 I had decided university wasn't right for me and had started to develop my own label. And now, at 20 going on time is ticking, I am still working on my own label whilst working as a nanny and waitress as a means to an end to save for for this trip to Japan Harry and I are going on in April. 

It has never crossed my mind to create a plan B. As much as they push you to do so in your senior years at school, to me, a plan B is a plan to fail, or even worse... quit. This means working around the clock at making sure plan A goes, well, to plan! And when you work in hospitality sometimes that means missing out or more sacrificing the privilege of sleeping. But I don't care. I want what I want so badly that I will do anything to get it. Even if it does mean staying up all night after a busy Friday night shift at work beading a shirt that's taking you months to finish before returning to your place of work at 7am trying to be peachy to a very large, very posh group of rather unpeachy guests on no sleep. It gives me a rush. It's how I get my kicks and I know that these are the days of struggle that I will look back on once I've made it big being the next Ralph and Russo and miss whilst slurping on a nice big glass of success saying 'AH, those were the days.' Which brings me back to my original statement...

Hello, my name is Kacie and I am a sleep deprivation addict.

Remember why you started.

Watch this space...

Stage fright...

I've been asked to take part in this fashion show in central London for upcoming designers to showcase their work to fashion bloggers, buyers and members of the press. SCORE! It all sounds fantastic and very sparkly (In the tasteful way!) My problem with this is that I would need 10 finished outfits to showcase by May 27th for a dress rehearsal before the actual show that takes place on the 12th of June.

I'm constantly designing and making new clothes, altering existing items for my siblings and experimenting altering clothes I own and have grown out of taste wise. This show, however, is held for 200 people within the fashion industry who REALLY know their stuff. I suddenly want to throw all of my existing clothes out and make a whole new bunch worthy of such a show and opportunity.

My final collection BTEC Fashion&Clothing 2012

I have a major case of stage fright, it's always been a problem. I just wasn't cut out to be a performer like my siblings. I have always wanted to be an inspiration to somebody. The reason someone believes anyone has a chance at succeeding at anything they chooses to put there mind to. To go out and get what they want no matter what they're told.

This will go either of two ways, A) I have less time to make these outfits than I thought and it all turns out to be a train wreck and preferably B) They're completed in time, everything's okay, I end up in the show and the crowd goes wild! (Dreaming, you should always be dreaming!)

I want option B so option B is what I shall get.

Don't believe me? Watch this space...

I quit.

'If you haven't felt like quitting, you're dreams aren't big enough.'

When I tell people of my over ambitious dreams, some are approving and encouraging. Some question my strength, ability and potential. Then there are the majority that pat my head with a condescending grin, complimented by a silent chuckle of doubt. I can almost hear their eyes saying 'Clearly this girl is naive. She hasn't yet learned the reality of her future.'

Fellow dreamers, no one can deny that as much, and as often as we convince ourselves that is doesn't phase us... it IS a kick in the granolas. No body appreciates being told that what they strive for is not achievable.

it's all about aiming high.

Despite the popular belief that I will never make it and so on, I will have my heart broken by reality and the cruel world I haven't yet explored, I'm sticking by my sewing needles. I was raised to aim for the stars because that way you'll always reach the moon. Frankly, I'd rather be on the moon alone than on earth with billions of others that never believed I would get there.

Kids, never let anyone tell you your dreams are too big. Some one has to land on the moon.

'I can do that!'

'You design and make clothes? GREAT! Could you recreate 5 bridesmaids dresses by August?'

'SURE!'

The kind of opportunity I've been waiting for. So why am I so scared? Maybe I don't believe in my potential? Maybe there's no way I can have it done in time and continue to work 3 jobs? Or maybe it's because it's real. 

My client (hell yeah, my client!) wants me to design AND make some new dresses to sit on top of the dresses she has. She loves the colour but the bridesmaids are not keen on the fit. Enter Kacie!

Very first and rough ideas.

Studying law, medicine or even teaching at university is justifiable. Fashion is an art (In my opinion) it can't be taught. Yes, there is a math and set of technical skills to be learned in terms of pattern cutting, marketing, technical drawing and so on. But £9000+ for that? No thank you. I want to make it alone and I will make it alone.

Of tasteless 'quotes', I'm not a fan but here's one that grabbed me, Happy Tuesday:

'You must decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.'

Spontaneity.

Sometimes, it's okay to be crazy and make irrational decisions. Keeping in mind that it is important to know the time, place and appropriate circumstances. For example, splashing out on a laptop when you have a lack of sufficient funds... not a good idea. Deciding to drive to Sheffield at 23:00 to spend a night with your boyfriend on your only day off for a long while... forgiveable.

Or so I thought. Silly, Kacie.

Those of you that know me personally know that I come from a line of performers. Actors, models, singer song writers, blah blah blah. That including the litter I belong to. Obviously in this being the case, they can occasionally react... extravagantly to otherwise minute situations. This, I always find comical. Especially when, my wicked humoured mother, joins in.

So with that, I want to apologise to Jamie-Jodie Shanks for being unfair and selfish in leaving her to pick up the pieces whilst I was away for the night when Nikita-Nina Shanks tragically went missing at The Almanack yestersay. I hope that someday you will be able to bring yourself to forgive me.

 Osborn shooting Pippa/Common activity.

We all have different angles of perception. I love them all to pieces and we have so much fun together. Yes, It would be nice if sometimes, Osborn choosing not to wear shoes outside or running out of milk weren't ''situations'' capable of ending the world as we know it, but then life would be too vanilla. And I don't think we could roll with that. 

And they all lived... the end.

Watch this space for more of nothing and everything.

Running on fumes.

''Even dust, when accumulated, turns into a mountain.''

27 hour days aren't fun. I wanted to let you know just in case you were planning on making a colossal mistake in the near future. It goes without saying, some sleep is better than no sleep. I've always been more of a functional person when under the influence of sleep deprivation, but on this occasion I may have just shot myself in the foot. with six 7:00am starts and stupid o'clock finishes coming up, I could have done with taking all the sleep I could when I had the chance.

Anyhow, It's all about powering through. I know that once I've made it in the world of fashion I will look back on these hard times and the days of struggling and miss it. Knowing it was the best time and the most fun. it's all about the journey and not the destination, after all.

Meanwhile, in those rare spare hours I've been working a lot on a dirty pink chiffon shirt with a beaded design of a symmetrical pattern I drew up of a dead cherry blossom tree. Oh the labour! and of course I chose the smallest beads in existence. Put just a bite too much on my plate AGAIN perhaps?

They're the size of poppy seeds.

400 beads down, roughly 98 lost to the floor, approximately 10,000 to go...

I will be at this for days.

I will be grouchy. 

I will want to give in with some tears.

I will have fingers covered in pin pricks.

I will loose sleep.

But I will finish it and I won't stop until that is the case.

Think not? Watch this space.